absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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