There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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