I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
