apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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