Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
