mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
