people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
