So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
