jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
