ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
