I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
