her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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