Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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