By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
