Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
