I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
