I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
