Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
