so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
