My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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