I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
