Buhtt sex?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
