Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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