I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
