i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
