Your tits are I can't wait for
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
