I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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