I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
