So drunk its hurt
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
