and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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