I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
