Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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