Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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