you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Still dying that you shit outside
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
