grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
