just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
