Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Randomize
