she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
