The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize