Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
