So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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