Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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