youre lurking in front of me
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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