You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
