Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
he just fucked me for my cheese..
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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