I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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