I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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