So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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