we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
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She told me I should be a condom model.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
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btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I have already put on my inside pants.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize