i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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