She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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