He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize