Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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