Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
