It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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