fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
we should paint friendship bongs
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
