Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
