I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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