Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
